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Eternal Dimensions
Topic Started: Mar 26 2012, 04:47 PM (3,664 Views)
The10th-x
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ok heres a light novel i have been thinking of, its going to take a while to put it all in to words so be patient, i will provide a few images and also music to play along with the story to add more effect ;) please note, think of the characters in anime style, as that is what they are created for.

Genre:Drama, Action, Fantasy, Mystery, Light Comedy

Descriptions shall be written in italics

Actions in *Stars*

Shouting in CAPTIALS

Thoughts in (Brackets)

Read this stuff after you read the 1st chapter.
Shin Ryuunosuke Character Bio:
Spoiler: click to toggle


Tsubaki Tomoko Character Bio:
Spoiler: click to toggle


Miu Honoka Character Bio:
Spoiler: click to toggle


Important Stuff:
Spoiler: click to toggle


Starting Date is :21/03/2015 14:45 PM
Chapter 1 - Shattered:
Spoiler: click to toggle


Chapter 2 - The Distorted
[audioplayer]http://sounddogs.com/previews/2225/mp3/442207_SOUNDDOGS__ee.mp3[/audioplayer]
Spoiler: click to toggle
Edited by The10th-x, Mar 27 2012, 11:04 PM.
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The10th-x
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first chapter up
Map Author Status: Jumping ahead bit by bit


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Stryke
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lets get in contact: qknemo@gmail.com
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Not really a critique with stories and such, since I suck at english.
I can't really judge with just the first chapter, but I guess it'll get interesting as more chapters are put up.
Though, things you might want to avoid for future reference are cliche names like Ryou, try adding more depth into the the name or something XD.
You might also want to fix obvious grammar mistakes.

I'll check back onto this though, writing can really bring out the skills of people.
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The10th-x
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well the name was worse at first lol xD i cant think of a better name ill have a look...
edit: ok i got the name ^^ Shin ''True'' Ryuunosuke ''Noble'' or ''Dragon'', the name will have more reflection on him later =P just hope i dont mess the story up lol
Edited by The10th-x, Mar 26 2012, 07:32 PM.
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Tachimaru
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Shin-Seferantus is there em_chickuh
Anyway good look in your project^^
My spells ;D
http://chaosrealm.info/topic/7653845/1/#new
http://chaosrealm.info/topic/7633331/1/#new
http://chaosrealm.info/topic/7598207/1/#new
http://chaosrealm.info/topic/7555895/1/#new
http://chaosrealm.info/topic/7555917/1/#new
http://chaosrealm.info/topic/7593170/1/#new
http://chaosrealm.info/topic/7593164/1/#new
http://chaosrealm.info/topic/7593168/1/#new
http://chaosrealm.info/topic/7591451/1/#new

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reek39
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Tachimaru
Mar 26 2012, 07:39 PM
Shin-Seferantus is there em_chickuh
Anyway good look in your project^^
He is every were, you're just not looking hard enough!
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Yes, I'm still alive.
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Douchebag
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Call me Deadpool.
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O.K. I'm assuming English isn't your first language? If it is, da fuq? If it's not I understand. Either way I couldn't read further than half way because of the grammar.

Aside from that there are a few missing words, like were he went to the store. He didn't actually think he was going to the store, though I picked up on what you meant. Otherwise the half I read was O.K.
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The10th-x
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actually english is my first language >_> lol and my only one xD i just keep missing my errors, i will update it soon
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Douchebag
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Call me Deadpool.
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The10th-x
Mar 26 2012, 08:05 PM
actually english is my first language >_> lol
That's not even a laughing matter. I read it more like Ebonics is the language you were using.

I don't know about others but if you want me to read something and take it seriously, use the English language properly. Not being mean, this is constructive criticism.
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The10th-x
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I know its constructive criticism but you don't have to be so harsh :cry: anyway if i was going to blame it on something, it would be the 95% of the school that speaks 'chavish' if you know what i mean. Anyway i fixed it, its perfect English from my and my families prospective, if its still wrong then point some of it out so i can bow my head in shame for not speaking my own language em_fake properly
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Valkemiere
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have plan to make this into comic?
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The10th-x
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well i have no drawing skills AT THE MOMENT lol, i'm practicing, it was initially going to be a manga but i decided to start as a light novel
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Valkemiere
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I can draw it for you. Give me your desaign pic first :p
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The10th-x
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ill wait before i get further into the novel before i start ^^. anyway added Char-bio for Shin and Miu
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Douchebag
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Call me Deadpool.
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The10th-x
Mar 26 2012, 08:31 PM
I know its constructive criticism but you don't have to be so harsh :cry: anyway if i was going to blame it on something, it would be the 95% of the school that speaks 'chavish' if you know what i mean. Anyway i fixed it, its perfect English from my and my families prospective, if its still wrong then point some of it out so i can bow my head in shame for not speaking my own language em_fake properly
Good. A few spelling mistakes, but the grammar is up to par now. ChaosThumbsUp
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The10th-x
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updated with chapter 2
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GreatVengeance
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http://www.ninjaavenger.com/
[utube]https://youtu.be/-0yuPu5fY8E[/utube]
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The10th-x
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O_O? anyway ive added all the sounds up to chapter 2
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EbonyStallion
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P.e.... all i can say is nice!
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The10th-x
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anymore comments? waiting for some more before i post ch.3
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